Being hurt by a loved one or someone we care about is inevitable. When we feel slighted or emotional about a situation, we come from a place of hurt. We defend our feelings and indignation without being able to see the situation at hand and how we arrived to this point. It becomes difficult to acknowledge the side of the party that hurt us and the part we may have played in the situation because, by acknowledging the other side, we feel somehow it may devalue our pain some how. This is not true.
If we truly care about someone who hurt us, it is important to take the time to try to understand how the situation came to pass. Trying to understand the situation and how it came to pass does not necessarily mean taking full responsibility for what happened. It is identifying the key components that contributed to the outcome.
Taking responsibility for our contribution to the situation can open a dialogue that can possibly facilitate and understanding where as the conflict can not only be resolved but wounds can heal with the knowledge that all parties will make a concerted effort not to repeat the situation. Of course, it’s easier said that done, but getting familiar with removing these planks from our own eyes, help cement the relationships that we value most.
We all have our own planks obstructing our ability to see clearly in many situations when it comes to how we interact with others and our relationship dynamics, but with cause and effect, we must realize that before we address how someone behaves toward us, or how they have hurt us, we must examine ourselves. If we still cannot quite understand others’ point of view, then we must put our pride aside and be brave enough to address it with that person – not others. Go straight to the source, and be open enough to listen and receive what the other party has to say regardless of whether we may agree. If we ask someone why they had done something, we must hear them out and not devalue their thoughts and feelings by trying to defend our pain.
Taking responsibility requires the abandonment of our pride, excuses, and need to be right. Nothing loving, positive and fruitful can come from the planks of pride, excuses, and the need to be right.
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