This conversation comes up quite frequently among the younger generation in my family. With some of the young women, it can quickly turn into a spirited debate. Somewhere amidst the barrage of hypsersexualized Barbie ™ body types, comic book super hero body types, and the motion picture special effects make up application techniques, beauty has become convoluted.
Sexy is intended to affect desire; where as, pretty is all encompassing. While one can be both beautiful and sexy, hypersexualization can eclipse aspects of beauty because it can incite primal reactions and responses. Hypersexualization can cause the reptile brain to kick in.
1 : sexually suggestive or stimulating : erotic
Is being sexy a bad thing? No. However, it’s imperative to make the distinction that sexy and beautiful are not one and the same – no matter what your social media feed and feedback may imply.
Beauty is all encompassing. Beauty is multidimensional. A beautiful person’s spirit shines through their eyes and their energy can cause people to yearn to be in their presence. It is not a sexual yearning. Beauty comes from the inside and makes others feel good on the inside. Beauty is not based on appearance alone.
1 : the quality or aggregate of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit : loveliness
It all boils down to personal preference of what kind of attention one would like to garner. While there is nothing wrong with either, there is an absolute distinction that far too many people are unaware of.
Have you ever ended up at a place in life that makes you legitimately ask yourself out loud, “Self, how did I get here?” While it seems like a rhetorical question, a part of you wishes that somehow a Jiminey Cricket™ of sorts will pop up out of thin air with the answer, and some sort of allegory that helps you turn your life around so you do not end up in the same place again.
For those of us who were born human and not a Disney character, it is up to us to answer the question on our own.
When you find yourself in a position where you are asking yourself this question, you already know why. Accepting the reason and taking accountability can be painful so it’s easier to avoid the answer; it is easier still, to blame another person or circumstance. So, what do you do? Where do you start?
These three very simple, yet challenging things can change things around:
“Own it!” When people say this, it just sounds like a scolding; I get it. On the contrary, taking accountability or “owning it” is such a powerful thing because taking accountability places you back the driver’s seat of your life and you can begin to call the shots again.
Figure out what you want.
This is one of the hardest things and most avoided question for many. What do I want? What do I want to be? Who am I? How do I become happy?
Switch your focus.
Focusing on the past will perpetuate it and you will find yourself feeling like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day. Whenever you get in the space of “how did I get here?” … it is easy to feel trapped in a trine of inner conflict that you cannot break free from. By taking accountability, figuring out what you want and switching your focus, you can break free of circular pattern of thinking and being.
Any thoughts? You are always welcome to share. Drop a comment or message me direct.