Yesterday, I had a conversation with a man in his mid to late 30s. He said he couldn’t stand people and most of them were horrible – particularly the people he socially interacted with (dated) in his community. He went on for quite a while. I let him release what he had pent up inside. He said he longed for the days of his 20s because he was single; he is currently the only single person among his immediate age group both personally and professionally.
He said if ever he did get married, it be out of obligation, or just to “fit in;” but in reality, it just wasn’t something he ever aspired to do. I asked him, “what is it that you aspire to do?” He said he didn’t know. All he knew was that his best years were gone. He didn’t think past his 20s and those were the “Glory Days.” I was silent for a moment. Then I said asked him: “is that what you have decided?” and he said to me, “what do you mean?” I responded, “how could you know that your 20s were your ‘Glory Days’ when you have the whole rest of your life to live?” He was quiet. “Well, everything sucks right now,” he grumbled. I said this to him:
Perhaps things seem to suck right now because things are changing. Nothing ever stays the same. When you find yourself in a situation where everything has changed around you and you are longing for the past, the only direction you can go before going forward is inward. Life is full of possibilities, but how can you see the possibilities before you when you are looking behind you and glamorizing the past?
Change feels like loss for many and as a result many tend to avoid change until they are forced to, and by that time, change is involuntary and more painful than it needs to be. The past appears more appealing thus facilitating a stagnant feeling of despair and isolation. It does not have to be that way. There is a way out. We are not created to remain the same, but to evolve throughout this journey we call life one day at a time, person at a time, experience at a time.
CORINTHIANS 13:11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, felt like a child, reasoned like a child: when I became a man, I put from me childish ways.
Things do change and that is beyond our control. Also, things can be more fulfilling in ways one couldn’t have dreamed possible. Whether we savor a moment or not, it will pass… as we grow older, we will have to redefine ourselves at each juncture: as teens, young adults, adults, seniors and elderly…. All very distinct experiences in which one cannot carry the previous mind set and consciousness into the succeeding experience…