When a relationship has run its course, the cracks begin to show along with all the energy spent filling the cracks and/or over looking them. When the relationship comes to an end, it can leave one person feeling as though they may have wasted their time, energy and love on the other because the relationship wasn’t successful.
Is love ever truly wasted?
We only love as we know how. We love the way we were taught to love. Everyone’s experience is different and therefore, love, as a verb (the act of love), is subjective to a degree. Because love can be subjective, it can cause a great amount of frustration in a relationship and can leave people feeling unloved because the love isn’t reciprocated in the same way it is given. Simply put: it’s like waiting for a ship to arrive at an airport.
If you can relate, take The 5 Love Languages Quiz click here. It will give you an idea of the love language you have. It can help bridge the gap and fill in those cracks. At the very least, it can give you a better idea of how you express your feelings through your actions and gain insight on how other loved ones express theirs.
Norms – also subjective. Many of us have this haphazard notion that once we put a label on it, and the status of the relationship changes, our significant other will somehow transform into that ideal of what we believe a relationship partner should look like and act like; moreover, we expect our significant other to just assume the responsibility of making us happy, keeping us happy, and constantly giving us what we want. It’s a myopic relationship paradigm that frustrates happiness to no end.
A myopic relationship paradigm coupled with convoluted love language equals a devastating deficit when the bottom drops out of relationship.
Why isn’t that a waste?
When a relationship doesn’t work – it hurts – no matter what. No one enters any relationship expecting it to fail – even when it’s painfully obvious the relationship is not working.
It is similar to a gambler who keeps losing, but bets bigger each hand in hopes to winning the jackpot. Why do we do this? It’s because love hopes all things. Love and hope go hand in hand. Where there is one, the other is not far off. The capacity to feel and express such complex emotions is a blessing within itself. Relationships are risky and are essentially no different from gambling – that’s true. If anything, the experience, albeit painful, provides personal growth and ultimately demonstrates the inner strength and resilience we would not otherwise have known existed. That is never a waste.