Love is a topic that we never get tired of discussing.  Whether it is about what love is, what love is not, whether love exists, or whether love is attainable… we are obsessed with this elusory emotion, or concept.  I do not claim to be an expert on it, but I believe we have it a bit misconstrued. Everyone wants to be loved… maybe not everyone wants to love. To love, … (as an action verb) is probably the most laborious activity known to man.  If you really think about it, it is certainly not for the weak or faint-hearted.  I had a conversation with a great bartender at Sleep No More in Chelsea where we discussed how we literally use the word “love” for everything.

I love my mother.

I love this movie!

I love my dog.

Instinctually, we can make the distinction that three examples mentioned are not the same context of love despite the fact that we use the same singular word to express ourselves. To my surprise we began to talk specifically about the Greek distinction of the different kinds of love and the different word for each one. I had first heard of this concept years ago listening to a podcast by Cathe Laurie. It really put things in perspective.

Eros

“Love at First Sight”

Eros is the type of vain fleeting love encompassing physical attraction and infatuation. All things beautiful, simple, pleasurable… and that’s pretty much about it. This type of love cannot provide a foundation of anything substantial to build an enduring relationship. Not to say people do not try it every day. Beauty fades and we can only spend but so much time in bed.

Philos

“I’m Looking for My Best Friend”

Philos is much stronger than Eros in the sense that it is based on true friendship and camaraderie. There is a sibling sort of love that I like to think of as “soul companions.” You are in the thick of the experience we call LIFE together. Whatever life may throw at you, you have one another’s back and you get through it all together. You’re family. While this is a great foundation to start, many relationships despite their nature (sibling, romantic, friendly or otherwise) can hit a bump that ultimately results in an estrangement that is sometimes permanent. While the parties mourn the bond, neither can bring themselves to recompense for the sake of the bond. Philos often comes with limitations and deal breakers that are often not realized until we find ourselves having to confront such situations.

 

Agape

“I Love You No Matter What”

Agape is strictly for the brave hearted. This kind of love requires all of you without any guarantee of reciprocation. It comes straight from the soul, like a beacon of light regardless if the loved one is shrouded in darkness. Agape is full contact and is actually kind of strenuous physically, emotionally and psychologically at times. As I put it to a loved one a couple weeks ago:

It is the kind of love that provokes and demands demonstration of the fine print clause that includes but is not limited to: sacrifice, forgiveness, understanding, humility, perseverance, patience, courage, hope and endurance… and also LOTS & LOTS of forgiveness…. countless times.

Forgiveness = ∞ ³

Totally hard work! We all like the good stuff, and naturally like to receive the good stuff but when it comes to the not-so-good or reciprocity of sacrifice, understanding, humility, perseverance, patience, courage and endurance. Does anybody got time fo’ dat? Not many. We all love to be on the receiving end of Agape but when it comes down to the fine print clause, people bail claiming “I didn’t sign up for this!” This is probably why parents are often more likely to demonstrate Agape love to their children than any other relationship dynamic as they never give up on their children and would literally die for them by command. Agape love is the stuff of which “forever” is made. Regardless of the situation, or the person’s character, … what they have done… you are instinctually loving them – not deserting them, shunning them or setting terms and limitations of your love… because you cannot … because it becomes as natural as breathing.

 

“What’s In It For ME?”

Understanding the distinction between the types of love makes me wonder whether love is truly hard to find or if it is just hardly recognized and often missed. Agape love is oriented in selflessness while Eros and Philos are more associated with selfishness. It is a difficult task to get over ourselves which alienates us and renders us lonely or alone. We are born craving Agape love but we are conditioned to shy away from the leg work of reciprocating it.

 

A young girl was walking along a beach upon which thousands of starfish had been washed up during a terrible storm. When she came to each starfish, she would pick it up, and throw it back into the ocean. People watched her with amusement.

She had been doing this for some time when a man approached her and said, “Little girl, why are you doing this? Look at this beach! You can’t save all these starfish. You can’t begin to make a difference!”

The girl seemed crushed, suddenly deflated. But after a few moments, she bent down, picked up another starfish, and hurled it as far as she could into the ocean. Then she looked up at the man and replied, “Well, I made a difference to that one!”

The old man looked at the girl inquisitively and thought about what she had done and said. Inspired, he joined the little girl in throwing starfish back into the sea. Soon others joined, and all the starfish were saved.

— Adapted from The Star Thrower
by Loren C. Eiseley

 

This powerful story is the simplest illustration about your place in the world and your individual ability to make life better for someone – anyone somewhere in the world. How does the world become a better place? It starts with you, and one deed at a time touching and changing lives thereafter. Like a tiny ripple in water, your little contribution can become massively positive change for an individual or a whole community. My little contribution is raising awareness on human trafficking particularly around this time of year.

February 27^th

 

On February 27th 2015, please join us in exposing this malignancy of mankind by placing a RED X on your hand that may spark a conversation with others and spread the word. Modern day slavery is very real. 27 million people can attest that. It is thriving right here in the United States. This is OUR problem and we must address it together! If you could be so gracious to take it a step further and toss a starfish back in the ocean by donate just $7.00 (your lunch money), you would literally be saving a life by providing hope and an opportunity for a victim to become a survivor.

DONATE TO TEAM NASH or START YOUR OWN TEAM

We all have heard that there is power in words. It is something that provokes the instinctual response of “yeah, that’s true,” but yet we will instantaneously utter words that are self-deprecating, damning, hurtful, and negative about ourselves, others, friends, loved ones…

Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me…

Bazooka Joe once said, “whoever said that words don’t hurt obviously had never been hit with a dictionary.” Dr. Marasu Emoto took it a step further on the premise that water is a conduit of our personal reality and ultimately our own lives. Words can hurt; not just an emotional level, but can have adverse effects on a basic molecular structure in any living organism. What we say can cause damage on a physiological level – which is far more severe than being pummeled by someone’s bare hands because physical injuries can heal in time, but once words resonate within you, they become like a fungus eclipsing all that’s good and positive and skewing the way you see yourself as well as the way you see the world.

 

Dr. Emoto claimed words resonate be’scause they have vibration. It may sound like a bunch of nonsense and junk science to you, but we all know from experience when we are put down enough, we feel down, we begin to believe the negativity thus become depressed, withdrawn, and altogether not living a healthy quality of life.  It’s the same with being ignored.  No words at all may have an equally damaging effect rendering a person feeling “not worthy” or “not good enough.”  These feelings of little to no self-worth have an impact on a person’s world view and their place in it.  Saying something like “you’ll never amount to anything ” to a child may have a negative impact on that child well into their adulthood or the rest of their lives.

 

Words are more powerful than we acknowledge.  Things we say have lasting effects.  A speech can motivate people to war, provide comfort, or invoke love and harmony.  Speaking is something we do throughout each day of our lives without thought and intention.  It is almost like breathing.  We realize how necessary it is but do not pay attention to the magnitude of its importance.  Take lyrics of a song, for example.  The repetition of lyrics in a song resonates faster than our conscious mind realizes… No wonder we all seem to know the words to songs we don’t particularly like!  Perhaps we need to be weary of both what comes out of our mouths and what goes into our ears.

 

Dr. Emoto’s study on water is rather profound.  He took frozen water samples and exposed them to different phrases (some positive, some negative), pictures, music and prayer.  After, he photographed the water crystals and found each sample had a distinct and remarkable response. Please view the video below.

 

 

 

Take some time to really reflect on your vocabulary and what you tend to say. Common phrases that are thrown around today like “FML” or “f-ck my life,” or “kill yourself” or even calling one another “b-tch” or “thot” resonate within you. They aren’t nullified because they may provoke laughter by yourself or others.  These words are poisonous. They hurt.  We must all make a concerted effort to raise our vibration and speak edifying words to one another and about ourselves.  We must take responsibility for what we are putting out into the world and how they effect us and others around us.  What we say can have a rippling effect that can last longer than the duration of our own lives.  Food for thought.

 

We read and hear the stories every day on the news.  We see people on the street. The battered, the beaten, the lost… the poor, the hungry, the helpless, the voiceless and our first instinct is to think “I wish there was something I could do.”

What deters us from transforming the thought into action?  Time? Perhaps you don’t have time, but you have other resources that might be life changing for someone.  Every day is an opportunity to be someone’s answer to their prayer.

“We never know which lives we influence, or when, or why.” – Steven King

Think outside the box.  If you cannot physically lend a hand by volunteering, perhaps you can donate.  It doesn’t have to be a large amount of money.  It could be $5 to $10.  Every little bit helps because it all adds up.  Donations do not have to be monetary. I promise you, if you take a good look around, you possess something of no consequence to you that would restore hope and faith in the life another fellow human being.

Clean Out Your Closet

If you haven’t worn it in a year, chances are… you’re not going to.  Look to your community and familiarize yourself with the nonprofit organizations like People to People Inc that discretely provide a pantry, clothing, and other supplies for members in your community that have fallen on hard times. You can use the extra space by purging clothes that don’t fit you, your children or last season’s apparel – whatever. Toys, books, electronics… someone can benefit from that old ipod or tablet from two generations ago!

Every county has a domestic violence organization that houses and provides counseling, and advocate services for survivors of violence and sexual assault.  They accept monetary donations as well as donations of supplies, like for example: toiletries, bedding, clothing, food and even cell phones.  Visit The Center for Safety and Change to get a better idea of what these great organizations accept.

If you don’t have time to look up what your local community has to offer, you most certainly can drop by your local church. Pick a church, any church.

Shop for a Cause

Okay, maybe you’re not a hoarder like me, and do not have anything to spare but you need things, like clothing, for example.  Many organizations team up with apparel companies and the proceeds are donated to help others, among them are:

Love 146

ReImagine

Toms

(RED)

Sevenly

FEED

Check out some of these awesome organizations  or Google some local nonprofit organizations that directly provide services to your community. Unfortunately, nonprofit organizations do not have the funding to facilitate advertisement which hurts awareness of their existence. With local charities and nonprofit organizations in your backyard, you must step up and take that celebrity spokesperson role to raise awareness and make a difference.

If only life could be a sweet laid back reggae melody while the ocean waves roll in on the sand undulating between your toes as the breeze caresses your body and the sun kisses your skin.

Unfortunately, thoughts, cares, and responsibilities can bring undulating waves of worry that can sometimes be debilitating.

Pastor Greg Laurie had an amazing sermon about worry that gave way to a whole new perspective of just what it is and why it is so detrimental not only spiritually – but emotionally, psychologically and physically.  Worrying is negative mediation on things and circumstances that are often beyond your control. Worrying about the future is pointless and we often worry about things that never come to pass.  Calling a spade a spade,.. that is a classic example of a waste of time!  Worry robs you of time, happiness, sleep, your health, and positivity.  It is also a clear indication that you don’t trust God enough to pull you through.

Rather than worry about it or talk about it… pray about it.  Chalk it up to JC!  Sounds simple, right?  Ok,.. well it might not be at first., Which is why after talking to my sisters, cousins, and a couple friends in search of a better method of navigation through life in 2015, we came up with a challenge that will promote our dependency on God through prayer and strengthen our faith.

See the birds of the sky, that they don’t sow, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns. Your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren’t you of much more value than they? Matthew 6:26

God loves us more than we could ever imagine.  His immense love for us is unfathomable and instead of racking our brains, complaining, or seeking the stars, give this a try:

1. Identify what is causing you to worry.
2. Write it on a Post-it note.
3. Fold the Post-it note strategically using the sticky side to seal it like an envelop.
4. Place it in a jar or box, or whatever you chose to keep as your official prayer container.
5. Once that Post-it is placed in the prayer container, do not mention it aloud again. Rather, if and when your thoughts persist, say a quick prayer.  Bear in mind the shortest prayer was “Lord, save me!” Compliments of Peter… So it doesn’t have to be a drawn out soliloquy.

The challenge is to repeat steps 1-5 every time you find yourself gripped with worry about anything that worries you for 365 days.  Date them, if you like.. so that way exactly one year from now you can dig in and take stock of every little thing; look at a year’s worth of worries and cares at a glance. It’s gonna be all right!

Make one if you like, grab a large mason jar, or purchase a prayer box like this lovely wooden one here available at Serenity Corner.  Please give it shot and keep me posted.  Don’t worry about a thing and remember,.. God answers knee mail!